Saturday, May 11, 2013

Hope...there is hope!

It has been a while since I have blogged. Haven't had the right inspiration I suppose. These days everything moves quickly, I go through feeling and thoughts at light speed because there is so much change happening both in me and around me. Jesus.... He is where it all started and where it all ends... He has been seeking my heart and i have hidden it from His love and kindness for sometime now, not to say I wasn't saved because I have been since I was seven but I have retracted from the Lord. 2013 has been such an amazing year thus far, the Holy spirit has done so much to retrieve me from the dark that I let myself get drawn into over the years from 2006. I know I talked of the progress I made in previous posts and I had made that progress, but the progress He has been working in 2013 is to go further than healing the pain but to also soften my heart. I can see now that I was so dead on the inside, I had lost hope, hope for anything supernatural and extraordinary for my life; love, love for my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ and in life, and love of being loved by my heavenly Father; kindness, kindness to strangers and to people I knew beyond just saying hello and putting on a face to show I was the "same as always"; gentleness, gentleness & compassion to anyone who may not see things the way I do or do things correctly, or make mistakes, the compassion that my Lord has showed me. In January I was on my way to an ItWorks conference and I could already feel the Lord pouring into my heart a renewed since of hope for my future and what He had in store for my family and the people we would come into contact with. I was fighting this hope because of fear and being defeated for so long, dead to myself and purpose. I cannot even put into words at this point the softening He was doing by giving me hope again. I felt locked into scraping by, day by day and never really getting ahead, but on the way to this conference He showed me the future He was offering, a future where I wouldn't have to worry about bills, and just getting by but refocus on doing His will and touching His people and lost sons and daughters. A future where money would not be a constraining factor on my ability to reach people and help others. A future where feeding my family and providing wouldn't constantly be on my mind and making me feel like less of a man because I couldn't provide security. True security comes from the Lord but as a father, husband and a man the Lord has also given me responsibility to provide for my family, which I didn't feel I could do at the time. Now my hope is renewed in the Lord and knowing He is providing and I just need to follow him and His guidance. Extraordinary thing is what He is doing in my life with the ability to now be home on my own schedule and putting us on a course where we will be able to do so much for so many and live a very blessed life. Thursday night at conference we had a worship and prayer service and He really started what was going to be a weekend of filling me with a love for people that had been depleted for some time. This really feeds into the rest of the things I mentioned as well. He showed me the value of being in this company and the value of life again and not just going through the motions of the day to day. There was a time I used to be so enveloped in people and there eternal security and their overall quality of life, but for a while I had lost that fire to really reach out and try to expose people to the Love I knew. So many didn't seem to care and I gave into the lie that they had made their choice and had probably already heard anyway. Throughout the weekend I heard story after story of people's lives being changed through focusing on what the Lord wanted and focusing on other people, I had the hunger again, the hunger to change people's lives around me and to pour into them, which in turn gave me back my compassion and gentleness. I walk now with a sense of urgency and with a desire to bring the love of the Lord to all I meet and to enrich their lives in some way. I also move forward with the hope of living an incredible life with amazing stories to tell and that will touch people's hearts and huge dreams to reach! I am done being defeated and I am claiming my life in Jesus name and by the power of His mighty name walk forward knowing satan has no power except that which my King grants Him over me. You may be in a dark place or a place of discouragement...keep pressing forward and seek the face of God. Seek His heart and His will. Seek first His kingdom and all else will fall into place. That is His promise and so true. If you are weary or uncertain seek Him. Jump He will catch you. If you need someone to talk to call I am an open book and will help anyway I can.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Christian Yoga?

There was a discussion among my FB friends as to wether or not there could be such a thing as christian yoga so I figured I would blog on my stance of it and why. I havent honestly done any research on it other than what I have heard from people both for it and against it, both christian and non christian. What I know about it is what the Holy spirit has revealed to me. I have done a lot of thinking and praying about the things I have heard so what you are getting is what the Lord and I have talked about.

Some of the reasons people would say it is ok is that while it may be founded in a foreign belief it doesnt make it wrong or against God, the same way hymnals are not against God and they were founded as beer drinking songs( a lot of them anyway). Well with some things this may be true, things that dont have spiritual ties that is. You must remember that we are in a war with things unseen. Just because it may not look bad or feel bad doesnt make it any less dangerous. I would have to say that the yoga thing ties into the spiritual battle. One it was founded in another belief system. Two it focuses on the emptying of the mind and focusing on some other energy. Now you may say that you could use that same method of emptying to focus on God but here is the problem; the emptiness. See if we have the holy spirit residing in us then we try to empty out everything to focus on Him then in the process of emptying out we allow other things in. You never want to be an empty vessel. Thinking about the verse that says "be still and know that I am God"? There is a difference in being still and actively emptying your mind. You can be still by just thinking about the wonderful things God has put in your life and meditating on Him without first emptying your mind and spirit. Yoga, every time I have heard about it and seen it has always about first emptying everything then focusing on your energy. Point being that if you are emptying that space then you allow room for something other than God to fill that space.

Poses...I have heard that the poses in yoga are intended to call on spirits and make connecting with that realm more easy. I dont know if that is true or not. I would have to say that it wouldn't surprise me and that if that is the case then that alone is enough to indicate that yoga should be off limits. I would have to put yoga into the same area as witchcraft which the Lord told us to stay away from.

Anyway these are the things the Lord has put on my heart to share with you and to shed light on the yoga subject. I am off to bed now.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Pt2. Peace

This is the second half of my previous post. If we take Jesus and what He stands for out of the picture. Our culture over all is always so stressed about what is coming next; if they will have work tomorrow, gas, heat, loved ones, car, money, someone to talk to etc. When you have Christ you don't have to worry about any of that because God says he will take care of His children. When you accept Christ you become one of His children. Does that mean you will never be stressed or bad things will never happen to you? No not by any means! I have had plenty of bad things happen in my life but the amazing thing is that when I get stressed or overwhelmed all I have to do is remember this world and everything going on is just temporary and that all my needs will be provided for her and for eternity. Take away God and Jesus Christ then you have everything to fear because you have only yourself to count on because in the end no other human being will go without letting you down at some point. That is such a depressing thought. Why do we have a world that is so sad and depressed? They are lacking the comforter.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

"could you be the devil, could you be an angel?" Pt1

Where is God in our world these days? I am so saddened by the hurting of our world and people even when they don't see themselves that they are hurting and sad. I am reminded of the movie my wife loves, Wall-e. At one point in that movie the people wake from a completely automated spaceship to realize that what they thought was great and fun was really killing them and making them weak. I feel as though I see the world through an almost out of body view a lot of times. I see the small picture of what people say and why they say them about things but then turn and see the big picture and am saddened. You hear "gd" a lot in our time and to think that is spitting on the face of the one who sent His only Son to die for us...simply overwhelming!

My title may seem kinda weird but it is actually one of the main points I am bringing up in this post. I heard that line in the new Katy perry song and it stood out to me. Notice how in our culture it is demons, angels, devil(s), aliens, and gods or other mythical things. Well at least people are talking about heaven and hell right? No not really. What is heaven and hell with out God? Think about it for a moment. Take God out of the equation for a second and see what happens. What makes hell so bad or heaven so good? God. God's wrath, punishment, disappointment, and sadness is what makes hell so bad while on the other side of the same coin God's love, mercy, grace, faithfulness, and forgiveness is what makes heaven so great! So take God out of this thought process and you get a hell that isn't that bad and a heaven that isn't worth living for. Just take a moment and stop reading and think about that for a second and the weight that thought has...

Satan is trying to push God out of our thoughts, minds, and life. See he is pushing the focus to all these other things that don't carry the weight and power of our Lord because when he does the bad isn't so bad and the good isn't good so why not do and think what we want? Let's pretend for just a moment that I am atheist. How would that change my views and actions? Well I could do or say whatever I wanted without any fear of repercussion except by my fellow humans which wouldn't be that big of a deal if I didn't feel there was something after anyway and if I really didn't like what they thought then I could just knock them off or beat them, whatever I felt like doing really. That is horrible or wrong? Why? There is no God in that thought. If we evolved from apes or whatever and everything was created from nothing and not by an all powerful God then who is to tell me right from wrong? where would it come from? You? I don't think so! Who would you be to tell me how to act or what to do? There would be no code of conduct. Not always so bad? Ok let's take a look beyond cussing, stealing, lying, and sex. If there was no God and no good and evil/right and wrong what else could we do? Rape, murder, molestation, bestiality, incest, child abuse, slavery, holocaust, torture, racism...these words would mean nothing...think about that...

Saturday, February 26, 2011


My wife. She truly astounds me. She is such an amazing mother, wife, and human being. I do not know and cannot think of many people that can even come close to the way she cares about people and their well being. I also cannot think of anyone who could love me through everything in my life the way she does after hurting her so badly, except for who she is modeling, Jesus Christ. Every day I spend with this amazing woman I see Jesus shining through her and see her trying harder everyday to be like Him. I see her looking through His eyes. She is so strong and so compassionate even to those who continually try to get under her skin. Less than I would have probably. Everyday I see my wife I love her more and more. I wish I could show her how much I love her. I so wish I could use a time machine and go back and take away all the hurt she has ever faced and been through. Especially by the ones that are closest to her and caused the most pain. Sometimes I look back on things I have done and have the same regard to those things as I would for someone kicking someone who was already on the ground and couldn't take anymore. It disgusts me! I feel like such a horrible person on the inside most days and completely unworthy of her love and grace. Whenever someone wrongs me I think about my wife and my Jesus who she displays for me everyday. I could not ask for a more amazing woman to stand not in front of or behind me but next to me, or to raise our children.

Moral of this story...follow God to the right person then stand with them no matter what you go through together, it is worth it!

I love you baby! Thanks for being you and loving me for who I truly am in Christ!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Toy Robot

So for Christmas a few years ago my wife bought me a radio controlled robot. Well I was admittedly less excited than I should have been about it. This was not far after my accident and I was a little too serious in my mind for that. Well needless to say that really hurt my wife's feelings immensely! I couldn't figure out why she bought me a toy for a gift at my age, and she knowing I loved electronics and robotic stuff couldn't figure out why I didn't seem to like it. Well after a good bit of discussion I realized that it was so much more than a toy. It is still the sweetest gift anyone has ever given me. She knew I wasn't what I was before and she wanted to give that back to me. She gave me the robot to try and bring me back to when I was younger and before the accident. When I realized the thought she put into my gift it blew my mind! She knew what I really needed and wanted to give it to me. I could not ask for a sweeter, more thoughtful, more loving wife. God has blessed me beyond words! I wish I was more like her!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Seek after Him...

Seek after Him...that is what this shot makes me think of every time i see it. We should seek after God with the faith of a child. Our children trust us with everything by nature and we should do that with our father and our King. I see the photo and know that evey thing is going to be ok and that we are His.