Hope...there is hope!

It has been a while since I have blogged. Haven't had the right inspiration I suppose. These days everything moves quickly, I go through feeling and thoughts at light speed because there is so much change happening both in me and around me. Jesus.... He is where it all started and where it all ends... He has been seeking my heart and i have hidden it from His love and kindness for sometime now, not to say I wasn't saved because I have been since I was seven but I have retracted from the Lord. 2013 has been such an amazing year thus far, the Holy spirit has done so much to retrieve me from the dark that I let myself get drawn into over the years from 2006. I know I talked of the progress I made in previous posts and I had made that progress, but the progress He has been working in 2013 is to go further than healing the pain but to also soften my heart. I can see now that I was so dead on the inside, I had lost hope, hope for anything supernatural and extraordinary for my life; love, love for my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ and in life, and love of being loved by my heavenly Father; kindness, kindness to strangers and to people I knew beyond just saying hello and putting on a face to show I was the "same as always"; gentleness, gentleness & compassion to anyone who may not see things the way I do or do things correctly, or make mistakes, the compassion that my Lord has showed me. In January I was on my way to an ItWorks conference and I could already feel the Lord pouring into my heart a renewed since of hope for my future and what He had in store for my family and the people we would come into contact with. I was fighting this hope because of fear and being defeated for so long, dead to myself and purpose. I cannot even put into words at this point the softening He was doing by giving me hope again. I felt locked into scraping by, day by day and never really getting ahead, but on the way to this conference He showed me the future He was offering, a future where I wouldn't have to worry about bills, and just getting by but refocus on doing His will and touching His people and lost sons and daughters. A future where money would not be a constraining factor on my ability to reach people and help others. A future where feeding my family and providing wouldn't constantly be on my mind and making me feel like less of a man because I couldn't provide security. True security comes from the Lord but as a father, husband and a man the Lord has also given me responsibility to provide for my family, which I didn't feel I could do at the time. Now my hope is renewed in the Lord and knowing He is providing and I just need to follow him and His guidance. Extraordinary thing is what He is doing in my life with the ability to now be home on my own schedule and putting us on a course where we will be able to do so much for so many and live a very blessed life. Thursday night at conference we had a worship and prayer service and He really started what was going to be a weekend of filling me with a love for people that had been depleted for some time. This really feeds into the rest of the things I mentioned as well. He showed me the value of being in this company and the value of life again and not just going through the motions of the day to day. There was a time I used to be so enveloped in people and there eternal security and their overall quality of life, but for a while I had lost that fire to really reach out and try to expose people to the Love I knew. So many didn't seem to care and I gave into the lie that they had made their choice and had probably already heard anyway. Throughout the weekend I heard story after story of people's lives being changed through focusing on what the Lord wanted and focusing on other people, I had the hunger again, the hunger to change people's lives around me and to pour into them, which in turn gave me back my compassion and gentleness. I walk now with a sense of urgency and with a desire to bring the love of the Lord to all I meet and to enrich their lives in some way. I also move forward with the hope of living an incredible life with amazing stories to tell and that will touch people's hearts and huge dreams to reach! I am done being defeated and I am claiming my life in Jesus name and by the power of His mighty name walk forward knowing satan has no power except that which my King grants Him over me. You may be in a dark place or a place of discouragement...keep pressing forward and seek the face of God. Seek His heart and His will. Seek first His kingdom and all else will fall into place. That is His promise and so true. If you are weary or uncertain seek Him. Jump He will catch you. If you need someone to talk to call I am an open book and will help anyway I can.