Where is God in our world these days? I am so saddened by the hurting of our world and people even when they don't see themselves that they are hurting and sad. I am reminded of the movie my wife loves, Wall-e. At one point in that movie the people wake from a completely automated spaceship to realize that what they thought was great and fun was really killing them and making them weak. I feel as though I see the world through an almost out of body view a lot of times. I see the small picture of what people say and why they say them about things but then turn and see the big picture and am saddened. You hear "gd" a lot in our time and to think that is spitting on the face of the one who sent His only Son to die for us...simply overwhelming!
My title may seem kinda weird but it is actually one of the main points I am bringing up in this post. I heard that line in the new Katy perry song and it stood out to me. Notice how in our culture it is demons, angels, devil(s), aliens, and gods or other mythical things. Well at least people are talking about heaven and hell right? No not really. What is heaven and hell with out God? Think about it for a moment. Take God out of the equation for a second and see what happens. What makes hell so bad or heaven so good? God. God's wrath, punishment, disappointment, and sadness is what makes hell so bad while on the other side of the same coin God's love, mercy, grace, faithfulness, and forgiveness is what makes heaven so great! So take God out of this thought process and you get a hell that isn't that bad and a heaven that isn't worth living for. Just take a moment and stop reading and think about that for a second and the weight that thought has...
Satan is trying to push God out of our thoughts, minds, and life. See he is pushing the focus to all these other things that don't carry the weight and power of our Lord because when he does the bad isn't so bad and the good isn't good so why not do and think what we want? Let's pretend for just a moment that I am atheist. How would that change my views and actions? Well I could do or say whatever I wanted without any fear of repercussion except by my fellow humans which wouldn't be that big of a deal if I didn't feel there was something after anyway and if I really didn't like what they thought then I could just knock them off or beat them, whatever I felt like doing really. That is horrible or wrong? Why? There is no God in that thought. If we evolved from apes or whatever and everything was created from nothing and not by an all powerful God then who is to tell me right from wrong? where would it come from? You? I don't think so! Who would you be to tell me how to act or what to do? There would be no code of conduct. Not always so bad? Ok let's take a look beyond cussing, stealing, lying, and sex. If there was no God and no good and evil/right and wrong what else could we do? Rape, murder, molestation, bestiality, incest, child abuse, slavery, holocaust, torture, racism...these words would mean nothing...think about that...
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Astounding
My wife. She truly astounds me. She is such an amazing mother, wife, and human being. I do not know and cannot think of many people that can even come close to the way she cares about people and their well being. I also cannot think of anyone who could love me through everything in my life the way she does after hurting her so badly, except for who she is modeling, Jesus Christ. Every day I spend with this amazing woman I see Jesus shining through her and see her trying harder everyday to be like Him. I see her looking through His eyes. She is so strong and so compassionate even to those who continually try to get under her skin. Less than I would have probably. Everyday I see my wife I love her more and more. I wish I could show her how much I love her. I so wish I could use a time machine and go back and take away all the hurt she has ever faced and been through. Especially by the ones that are closest to her and caused the most pain. Sometimes I look back on things I have done and have the same regard to those things as I would for someone kicking someone who was already on the ground and couldn't take anymore. It disgusts me! I feel like such a horrible person on the inside most days and completely unworthy of her love and grace. Whenever someone wrongs me I think about my wife and my Jesus who she displays for me everyday. I could not ask for a more amazing woman to stand not in front of or behind me but next to me, or to raise our children.
Moral of this story...follow God to the right person then stand with them no matter what you go through together, it is worth it!
I love you baby! Thanks for being you and loving me for who I truly am in Christ!
Moral of this story...follow God to the right person then stand with them no matter what you go through together, it is worth it!
I love you baby! Thanks for being you and loving me for who I truly am in Christ!
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Toy Robot
So for Christmas a few years ago my wife bought me a radio controlled robot. Well I was admittedly less excited than I should have been about it. This was not far after my accident and I was a little too serious in my mind for that. Well needless to say that really hurt my wife's feelings immensely! I couldn't figure out why she bought me a toy for a gift at my age, and she knowing I loved electronics and robotic stuff couldn't figure out why I didn't seem to like it. Well after a good bit of discussion I realized that it was so much more than a toy. It is still the sweetest gift anyone has ever given me. She knew I wasn't what I was before and she wanted to give that back to me. She gave me the robot to try and bring me back to when I was younger and before the accident. When I realized the thought she put into my gift it blew my mind! She knew what I really needed and wanted to give it to me. I could not ask for a sweeter, more thoughtful, more loving wife. God has blessed me beyond words! I wish I was more like her!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Seek after Him...
Seek after Him...that is what this shot makes me think of every time i see it. We should seek after God with the faith of a child. Our children trust us with everything by nature and we should do that with our father and our King. I see the photo and know that evey thing is going to be ok and that we are His.
"so when i lose loves way, find me"
Ok well I decided to post again. It has been a while since my last post. I have been meaning to post for a while now but work keeps me insanely busy right now. God is so good! He has provided a job when it is incredibly hard to find one and has been blessing me at work as well. I am blessed to have such an amazing and supportive wife when I get stressed with work and being in a new environment. It was especially difficult when I first started as I had worked with my father for the past few years and dont want to miss any time hanging out with my dad. We are always so busy and working together was the most time we spent together. Around the same time I started working this job my best friend of 12 years decided he was too good to talk to me anymore. So yeah a lot of change all at once! Most people think I am good with change but I am not good when my whole world changes. It really trips me out haha. That said I have such an awesome constant...my family. Also Josh and james have been great friends in helping me in so many ways when they have had absolutely no idea I needed it. They have made some of the most impact on my life. Funny how God refocuses you through the most unexpected ways.
Well I am really not in the writing mood like I thought I was when I start so I suppose I will call it a night. I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes...
"A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it." George Moore
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
A dark time born of secrecy
In my previous post I talked about secrecy and how it leads to a dark and dangerous place. This is a story from me experience on how you can get to that place and how easily it can over take you and you not realize it. My prayer for this post and really this blog over all is to touch peoples live and show them a real person someone you can see into and know that you are not alone in your everyday struggles. Please pray and know my heart before moving forward in this blog. The things said in this are deep in me and are things in my past that have molded me and who I am and how God will use me. Some are good, some are bad but they will all be used for the glory of our Lord in the end.
So my wife and I got married young. We were both 18. We met in high school and from day one when we started dating I told her I thought I was going to marry her, she said the same was true of her. Well being that we were starting out so serious I thought I would go ahead and get anything in my past out of the way from being brought up in the future so I told her I had done things in my past with an ex girlfriend and that none of it went as far as clothes coming off but that I had done some things, I also told her that I had looked at porn a couple times in the past but that it wasn't an addiction for me because God had delivered me from falling into that trap. She took all that very well and I asked if there was anything in her past I should know about or anything she still struggled with. She told me that she had a problem with sex chatting online when she was in her earlier teens and that she had stopped doing that and no longer had a problem with it. It was very hard for her to tell me that and she was embarrassed to tell me and I told her we all make mistakes and I had done my share so she didn't need to worry about it.
We moved on in our relationship and got married 9 days after I turned 18(she is 11 months older than I). At first things seemed to be going well with our marriage, we got along well and connected for the most part but there was something missing. I couldn't put my finger on it but I knew it was there. I thought it was just all so new and that in time whatever it was would get better. A year into our marriage I could see something was very wrong as things had gotten worse with our connection. Kathy and started putting distance between us. I wasn't sure why but she had started pushing me away physically and emotionally. I kinda approached the subject with her just asking why she wasn't interested and if something was wrong and she assured me nothing was wrong and she was okay. That went on for a couple weeks or so and I started looking at porn again. I looked at it for around 2 weeks or so and God really convicted me of it and pressed me to tell my wife what was going on so one night while we were out for dinner I told her. I told her that because of the physical distance she was putting between us I started looking at things I shouldn't so I would push her and cause tension, I didn't want to stress her out. She cried a little and said she understood and asked me to not do it anymore and that she would work on the issue. Things seemed to get better for a while and then the cycle repeated itself. She would put distance and I would do things I shouldn't and tell her. The cycle only repeated itself about 3 times over a 3-4 year period. During this time is when my accident happened and *I* started putting distance between us(previous post). One day we were having a big argument and she got really really angry. I could tell though that she wasn't that angry at me. I asked her over and over what was wrong and she wouldn't tell me, I told her it would be okay and that whatever it was we could work through it. She cried and said we couldn't so I knew something was really wrong. I asked if she was cheating on me and she cried worse and said no so I knew it was something close to that. My spirit felt the need to ask if she had been chatting again so I did....to which her reply was to cry and run off. It broke my heart and hurt more than anything in my past ever hurt me. I could not understand why shy had started chatting again and what I was doing wrong, all I knew was that I was doing everything I could to try and make her happy and love me and win her over for the most part. I had slacked after my accident but didn't think it was that bad. I asked how long she had been doing this and found out she had been doing it while we were dating and took a short break until about a year after we were married and started again. So when I found out, she had been doing it steadily for an average of 3 years of our relationship and had lied to me about it. The hurt was insane. It felt like someone had taken a knife and stabbed me right in the heart and turned the knife. I couldn't understand why my wife who said she loved me and would only be mine was doing this with other guys when she was pushing me away when I was trying so hard to love her and win her. It still hurts like crazy to think about and is hard to write.
I remember looking at my little girl and thinking how could I leave her? So I told Kathy I would try to stay and that if she ever did it again I would leave and it would take years to earn my trust again. I give trust easily and she knew that but once it is broken it is hard to get back. She was very accepting of this and was extremely sorry for hurting me so deeply. I thought things were finally going to change and she was going to start letting me in. Well she never chatted and let me keep her accountable but she was still pushing me away just as much as ever, not at first but after a couple months things were back to normal as far as her pushing me away. The only way we were really able to connect physically was through drinking, that would help her relax but it still left something lacking because it wasn't her being her on her own, and emotionally there was always distance. I couldn't understand why she kept pushing me away. Things would get hard and I would tell her she needed counseling and that if she didn't get it she would destroy our marriage. We had two or three of these conversations and then on the last one I told her she WAS destroying our marriage and each time she would improve for a time and then go right back after I was secure again(that is how it seemed to me. in reality she was trying but not for the right reasons and she also had some other issues she WASN'T working on. she was molested when she was 4 and had just found a couple years after we were married and was not willing to forgive the guy or move past it. She let it control her and keep her captive.). Finally about a year ago I gave up on my marriage and being happy. I knew I had to stay in it until she messed up again or I died. I couldn't leave my little girls for no reason but I was miserable I would sometimes think of suicide to get out. I was raised in a home where love and affection were always something you showed to the people you love and her not showing love in the same language as me was killing me.
I struggled for a long time in silence, my parents couldn't understand why I would go out all night and play poker or have friends over to hang out all night when I had a wife at home. What they didn't see was that I didn't feel loved, needed or wanted so I saw now reason to stay home or be in bed with my wife. They also didn't know that I longed for a wife that loved the same as I loved her and that I would want to be with even if she was sleeping. Honestly I didn't even see how miserable I was or why I was staying out so late all the time and couldn't sleep until I was so exhausted I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.
Well a few months ago I started talking a girl I had met and she seemed like a strong christian girl and she was wanting some advice on a friend so I told her what I thought about the subject and thought I could maybe get some advice from her as well. So I confided in her how I felt about my marriage and how I was frustrated, I wanted a girls opinion on the situation. She seemed to understand how I felt about the situation and one thing lead to another and we started talking outside of just giving and getting advice until it turned into a full on affair(Not sex,A bit physical but not sex). I had told my wife that I wanted a divorce and that I couldn't be married to her anymore and that we would just have to figure out something to do with the kids. I told her she had pushed me away for too long and I didn't feel that she loved me and that she should have gotten counseling. She told me she would do anything to stay married to me and that I couldn't do anything to make her leave. She said she loved me unconditionally even if I didn't love her the same. That went on for about a month and a half where I was having an affair and telling her I had stopped talking to the person and she would find out otherwise. I almost got kicked out of the house a couple times and put my wife through absolute hell over and over. See all the fears and concerns she had about not being good enough, or that someone wouldn't love her through anything and be there no matter what once she told them were being confirmed. Looking back I can't imagine the pain I caused her and how much I effected her. My problem was that I couldn't get past the hurt she put me through or so I thought. I was blinded and thought this other girl was my way out and that things would work out. I had friends and family standing all around me telling me I was making foolish choices but I didn't want to listen. Finally things came to a head and my wife said I needed to chose what I was going to do and that she had had enough of these foolish games and that if I was leaving I would do so that night. Thank God two days before I had prayed that if God wanted me to work things out that He would soften my heart because it was like steel it was so hard and I honestly didn't believe I could let Him soften it. I knew my marriage was over. The very same night I prayed that, my wife and I talked for a couple hours mainly about me leaving and what that would look like and we did that for the next two days me still saying I was leaving then, a miracle happened! When she said I was leaving or staying that day God opened my eyes and showed my wife to me through His amazing eyes and reminded me how much I loved her and couldn't live without her or my kids and that I was being foolish. I told her I was so sorry for all the hurt I had put her through and that I couldn't believe I had thought about leaving her and that I needed her and wanted to be there to see her change and work on her stuff like she had finally started to do and said she would.
See when things are kept in the dark it gives satan a way to come up and hit you in areas you would never have thought possible and get you to do things you never would. I love my wife and I have always been very committed to her and family but when she kept things in the dark it gave satan a way to undermine her love for me when I found out about her secrets, and when I kept my affair in the dark it gave satan a way to come up and undermine my love for her and distort all that I knew to be true, but even more than just keeping our sin in the dark keeping the frustration in the dark, which wasn't sinful, gave satan a foothold. When I didn't find counseling or talk to someone when Kathy wouldn't listen and when she wouldn't seek counsel or listen to what I was saying about how it was hurting me satan was able to keep the obvious pain and trouble that was coming in the dark and keep our eyes on ourselves instead of Christ who would have healed us in the first place.
The price paid for this wasn't a cheap one even though things worked out with my wife and me and we are stronger and happier than when we got married. See this cost a huge amount of trust and respect from all my friends and family(maybe it will cause more with people who are just now finding out about this through my blog. I pray it doesn't and that you see me for who I really am and not who I was for a short time in my life), not only that but it cost me being able to go with my family to a church we love and being around people we have been able to connect with for the first time in a long time. Because of my stupid mistakes and not being the spiritual leader I should have been in revealing darkness in my home I took away the ability for my wife to be able to go to church with her husband for the time being. Now we have to find a new church to go to together because our current church will not allow me to come back on sundays because of the affair I had inside the church and for fear that something more will happen with the girl that also attends our church. It is a frustrating position not being able to go to a church when you are truly repentant while the other person is still fully able to attend and be apart of the fellowship and be there with her family, but I know God must have a reason. It is hard for my wife to understand because for the first time is so long she is finally at home in a church and now she doesn't feel she can rightly go because her husband is no longer welcome, so I urge you brothers and sisters to not allow yourself to fall into the same traps we fell into! If you are hurting seek out a brother or sister of the same sex who is able to give you Godly guidance! If you do not bring things before the Lord and before someone who can help keep you accountable and pray for you then you are asking for destruction and pain. Maybe you are like me and think you can calculate the risk and the solution yourself for your problem but let me assure you, if you do not have proper prayer support and spiritual backup you will be overrun. Marriage is hard enough as it is, no need to go it alone and just put more stress on yourself and your family. If you don't have anyone to talk to that you feel will understand or not judge you then feel free to contact either myself or my wonderful wife, we would love to speak with you and help pray for you and be there in a time of need that will help your marriage thrive! IT IS WORTH THE FIGHT!!! Nothing more amazing than getting your marriage under God and His protection and will!
turwaith05@aim.com
Nick
aka human like everyone else
So my wife and I got married young. We were both 18. We met in high school and from day one when we started dating I told her I thought I was going to marry her, she said the same was true of her. Well being that we were starting out so serious I thought I would go ahead and get anything in my past out of the way from being brought up in the future so I told her I had done things in my past with an ex girlfriend and that none of it went as far as clothes coming off but that I had done some things, I also told her that I had looked at porn a couple times in the past but that it wasn't an addiction for me because God had delivered me from falling into that trap. She took all that very well and I asked if there was anything in her past I should know about or anything she still struggled with. She told me that she had a problem with sex chatting online when she was in her earlier teens and that she had stopped doing that and no longer had a problem with it. It was very hard for her to tell me that and she was embarrassed to tell me and I told her we all make mistakes and I had done my share so she didn't need to worry about it.
We moved on in our relationship and got married 9 days after I turned 18(she is 11 months older than I). At first things seemed to be going well with our marriage, we got along well and connected for the most part but there was something missing. I couldn't put my finger on it but I knew it was there. I thought it was just all so new and that in time whatever it was would get better. A year into our marriage I could see something was very wrong as things had gotten worse with our connection. Kathy and started putting distance between us. I wasn't sure why but she had started pushing me away physically and emotionally. I kinda approached the subject with her just asking why she wasn't interested and if something was wrong and she assured me nothing was wrong and she was okay. That went on for a couple weeks or so and I started looking at porn again. I looked at it for around 2 weeks or so and God really convicted me of it and pressed me to tell my wife what was going on so one night while we were out for dinner I told her. I told her that because of the physical distance she was putting between us I started looking at things I shouldn't so I would push her and cause tension, I didn't want to stress her out. She cried a little and said she understood and asked me to not do it anymore and that she would work on the issue. Things seemed to get better for a while and then the cycle repeated itself. She would put distance and I would do things I shouldn't and tell her. The cycle only repeated itself about 3 times over a 3-4 year period. During this time is when my accident happened and *I* started putting distance between us(previous post). One day we were having a big argument and she got really really angry. I could tell though that she wasn't that angry at me. I asked her over and over what was wrong and she wouldn't tell me, I told her it would be okay and that whatever it was we could work through it. She cried and said we couldn't so I knew something was really wrong. I asked if she was cheating on me and she cried worse and said no so I knew it was something close to that. My spirit felt the need to ask if she had been chatting again so I did....to which her reply was to cry and run off. It broke my heart and hurt more than anything in my past ever hurt me. I could not understand why shy had started chatting again and what I was doing wrong, all I knew was that I was doing everything I could to try and make her happy and love me and win her over for the most part. I had slacked after my accident but didn't think it was that bad. I asked how long she had been doing this and found out she had been doing it while we were dating and took a short break until about a year after we were married and started again. So when I found out, she had been doing it steadily for an average of 3 years of our relationship and had lied to me about it. The hurt was insane. It felt like someone had taken a knife and stabbed me right in the heart and turned the knife. I couldn't understand why my wife who said she loved me and would only be mine was doing this with other guys when she was pushing me away when I was trying so hard to love her and win her. It still hurts like crazy to think about and is hard to write.
I remember looking at my little girl and thinking how could I leave her? So I told Kathy I would try to stay and that if she ever did it again I would leave and it would take years to earn my trust again. I give trust easily and she knew that but once it is broken it is hard to get back. She was very accepting of this and was extremely sorry for hurting me so deeply. I thought things were finally going to change and she was going to start letting me in. Well she never chatted and let me keep her accountable but she was still pushing me away just as much as ever, not at first but after a couple months things were back to normal as far as her pushing me away. The only way we were really able to connect physically was through drinking, that would help her relax but it still left something lacking because it wasn't her being her on her own, and emotionally there was always distance. I couldn't understand why she kept pushing me away. Things would get hard and I would tell her she needed counseling and that if she didn't get it she would destroy our marriage. We had two or three of these conversations and then on the last one I told her she WAS destroying our marriage and each time she would improve for a time and then go right back after I was secure again(that is how it seemed to me. in reality she was trying but not for the right reasons and she also had some other issues she WASN'T working on. she was molested when she was 4 and had just found a couple years after we were married and was not willing to forgive the guy or move past it. She let it control her and keep her captive.). Finally about a year ago I gave up on my marriage and being happy. I knew I had to stay in it until she messed up again or I died. I couldn't leave my little girls for no reason but I was miserable I would sometimes think of suicide to get out. I was raised in a home where love and affection were always something you showed to the people you love and her not showing love in the same language as me was killing me.
I struggled for a long time in silence, my parents couldn't understand why I would go out all night and play poker or have friends over to hang out all night when I had a wife at home. What they didn't see was that I didn't feel loved, needed or wanted so I saw now reason to stay home or be in bed with my wife. They also didn't know that I longed for a wife that loved the same as I loved her and that I would want to be with even if she was sleeping. Honestly I didn't even see how miserable I was or why I was staying out so late all the time and couldn't sleep until I was so exhausted I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.
Well a few months ago I started talking a girl I had met and she seemed like a strong christian girl and she was wanting some advice on a friend so I told her what I thought about the subject and thought I could maybe get some advice from her as well. So I confided in her how I felt about my marriage and how I was frustrated, I wanted a girls opinion on the situation. She seemed to understand how I felt about the situation and one thing lead to another and we started talking outside of just giving and getting advice until it turned into a full on affair(Not sex,A bit physical but not sex). I had told my wife that I wanted a divorce and that I couldn't be married to her anymore and that we would just have to figure out something to do with the kids. I told her she had pushed me away for too long and I didn't feel that she loved me and that she should have gotten counseling. She told me she would do anything to stay married to me and that I couldn't do anything to make her leave. She said she loved me unconditionally even if I didn't love her the same. That went on for about a month and a half where I was having an affair and telling her I had stopped talking to the person and she would find out otherwise. I almost got kicked out of the house a couple times and put my wife through absolute hell over and over. See all the fears and concerns she had about not being good enough, or that someone wouldn't love her through anything and be there no matter what once she told them were being confirmed. Looking back I can't imagine the pain I caused her and how much I effected her. My problem was that I couldn't get past the hurt she put me through or so I thought. I was blinded and thought this other girl was my way out and that things would work out. I had friends and family standing all around me telling me I was making foolish choices but I didn't want to listen. Finally things came to a head and my wife said I needed to chose what I was going to do and that she had had enough of these foolish games and that if I was leaving I would do so that night. Thank God two days before I had prayed that if God wanted me to work things out that He would soften my heart because it was like steel it was so hard and I honestly didn't believe I could let Him soften it. I knew my marriage was over. The very same night I prayed that, my wife and I talked for a couple hours mainly about me leaving and what that would look like and we did that for the next two days me still saying I was leaving then, a miracle happened! When she said I was leaving or staying that day God opened my eyes and showed my wife to me through His amazing eyes and reminded me how much I loved her and couldn't live without her or my kids and that I was being foolish. I told her I was so sorry for all the hurt I had put her through and that I couldn't believe I had thought about leaving her and that I needed her and wanted to be there to see her change and work on her stuff like she had finally started to do and said she would.
See when things are kept in the dark it gives satan a way to come up and hit you in areas you would never have thought possible and get you to do things you never would. I love my wife and I have always been very committed to her and family but when she kept things in the dark it gave satan a way to undermine her love for me when I found out about her secrets, and when I kept my affair in the dark it gave satan a way to come up and undermine my love for her and distort all that I knew to be true, but even more than just keeping our sin in the dark keeping the frustration in the dark, which wasn't sinful, gave satan a foothold. When I didn't find counseling or talk to someone when Kathy wouldn't listen and when she wouldn't seek counsel or listen to what I was saying about how it was hurting me satan was able to keep the obvious pain and trouble that was coming in the dark and keep our eyes on ourselves instead of Christ who would have healed us in the first place.
The price paid for this wasn't a cheap one even though things worked out with my wife and me and we are stronger and happier than when we got married. See this cost a huge amount of trust and respect from all my friends and family(maybe it will cause more with people who are just now finding out about this through my blog. I pray it doesn't and that you see me for who I really am and not who I was for a short time in my life), not only that but it cost me being able to go with my family to a church we love and being around people we have been able to connect with for the first time in a long time. Because of my stupid mistakes and not being the spiritual leader I should have been in revealing darkness in my home I took away the ability for my wife to be able to go to church with her husband for the time being. Now we have to find a new church to go to together because our current church will not allow me to come back on sundays because of the affair I had inside the church and for fear that something more will happen with the girl that also attends our church. It is a frustrating position not being able to go to a church when you are truly repentant while the other person is still fully able to attend and be apart of the fellowship and be there with her family, but I know God must have a reason. It is hard for my wife to understand because for the first time is so long she is finally at home in a church and now she doesn't feel she can rightly go because her husband is no longer welcome, so I urge you brothers and sisters to not allow yourself to fall into the same traps we fell into! If you are hurting seek out a brother or sister of the same sex who is able to give you Godly guidance! If you do not bring things before the Lord and before someone who can help keep you accountable and pray for you then you are asking for destruction and pain. Maybe you are like me and think you can calculate the risk and the solution yourself for your problem but let me assure you, if you do not have proper prayer support and spiritual backup you will be overrun. Marriage is hard enough as it is, no need to go it alone and just put more stress on yourself and your family. If you don't have anyone to talk to that you feel will understand or not judge you then feel free to contact either myself or my wonderful wife, we would love to speak with you and help pray for you and be there in a time of need that will help your marriage thrive! IT IS WORTH THE FIGHT!!! Nothing more amazing than getting your marriage under God and His protection and will!
turwaith05@aim.com
Nick
aka human like everyone else
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Secrecy: Recipe for darkness and hurt
It has come to my attention that we have a big problem in society today;"personal space". I look around me and I see people hurting. I see people hurting themselves, and i see people hurting people, even Christian brothers and sisters are falling prey to this epidemic lie that satan is using. Let me be clear, there is a time and a place for a certain amount of "personal space" however in todays culture it is widely thought that space includes the things people do in their private lives they shouldn't. I mainly referring to things such as porn, watching things or going places you shouldn't, or chatting about things you shouldn't. The people that are close to me know that I am not afraid to ask hard questions, even people not so close to me I ask hard questions because I believe we should all have accountability! I know so many brothers and sisters who say they are doing ok and that they don't need accountability in theseareas but if you keep these things in the dark it gives satan a place to come up and take you places you never wanted to go. Darkness is death's and satan's fertilizer. I also see a lot of brothers and sisters with best friends and family that don't want to approach them about hard things they may be doing in their life, there have been many times I would say to someone "you should really ask how they are doing with that or if they have anything they need to talk about" to which the answer is usually along the lines of "that isn't my business" or "I don't want to, that is weird". It may be weird or uncomfortable to ask you friend or family member "hey, how are you doing with purity with your gf/bf?" or "have you been looking at porn lately?" but will it be more weird to do that or to face God or your feelings later knowing you could have helped a friend in need? Especially if they get addicted to something like porn and it destroys their life. See God puts close friends and family in your life to help keep light on areas that tend to get dark. We constantly have to shine light onto and into our lives and our hearts to expose sin and kill the bacteria that is death. I have people in my life that ask me the hard questions and in the times that they don't or haven't I have felt the darkness creeping up on me wanting to over take me, there have been times when it almost has. I got rid of the darkness by praying and telling my brothers what was going on. Usually everyone has a least one person they can approach about something in their life and they know that person is going to give them the hard answer to take care of it or to stay away from it, when we don't approach that person we stumble often. However, if we do approach that person and ask them to help us and to pray for us then light fills that area and God helps to keep sin and death away. Trust me if you allow that darkness in your life it will make you miserable and possibly make you lose everything that is dear to you.
Honestly these things people go through don't even have to be sinful at the start. Maybe the person that is close to you is having a hard time with one of their friends or family members and satan uses that to start causing them to sin. See something as simple as not being able to talk to your wife or parents can cause you to find another person where you can talk freely or feel like you can connect with that person better. The problem with this is when the person you are better able to connect with is one that helps you and causes you to sin because it is someone who is not bothered by sin or maybe lives in sin and that makes you more comfortable with sin. Even the Bible says we should surround ourselves with good council. Having friends that are not a good influence is one thing, having close friends who can influence you that are bad influence is a problem. I say that about the friends to say this. If you see someone who seems to have something going on in their life then ask about it and see if they will let you in, even if they don't at least you tried and did your part. I would challenge anyone who reads this to go after they read this and ask a close friend how they are doing and ask if there is anything they could help keep that person accountable with. Maybe you will need to ask that person straight up if they are having sex with their bf/gf, or maybe you will need to ask that person if they have or are looking at porn. They may get a little uncomfortable or sometimes defensive but it is worth the risk to ask and let them know you are the friend or family member that cares enough to ask the hard questions. No need to be harsh or pushy or judgmental over it, maybe even tell them something your are struggling with to help them be ok with talking to you but everyone needs someone to talk to.
PS If you want feel free to anonymously post something you are struggling with in the comments so I can pray for you and with you.
Honestly these things people go through don't even have to be sinful at the start. Maybe the person that is close to you is having a hard time with one of their friends or family members and satan uses that to start causing them to sin. See something as simple as not being able to talk to your wife or parents can cause you to find another person where you can talk freely or feel like you can connect with that person better. The problem with this is when the person you are better able to connect with is one that helps you and causes you to sin because it is someone who is not bothered by sin or maybe lives in sin and that makes you more comfortable with sin. Even the Bible says we should surround ourselves with good council. Having friends that are not a good influence is one thing, having close friends who can influence you that are bad influence is a problem. I say that about the friends to say this. If you see someone who seems to have something going on in their life then ask about it and see if they will let you in, even if they don't at least you tried and did your part. I would challenge anyone who reads this to go after they read this and ask a close friend how they are doing and ask if there is anything they could help keep that person accountable with. Maybe you will need to ask that person straight up if they are having sex with their bf/gf, or maybe you will need to ask that person if they have or are looking at porn. They may get a little uncomfortable or sometimes defensive but it is worth the risk to ask and let them know you are the friend or family member that cares enough to ask the hard questions. No need to be harsh or pushy or judgmental over it, maybe even tell them something your are struggling with to help them be ok with talking to you but everyone needs someone to talk to.
PS If you want feel free to anonymously post something you are struggling with in the comments so I can pray for you and with you.
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